Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Beautiful 2000

Can you find me?

I’m in some mighty fine company! Friends in the collage include:













Miss Cellania





And a big thanks to Tino who brought it all together

This is such fun! I want to click on everyone - LOL

I’m sure I missed some, but I have to get up to the hospital now. There are a lot of pictures and I don’t know what many of my blog buddies look like! Let me know and I’ll add you!

My father-in-law is still not doing very well. His pneumonia got worse, his blood pressure is down and his urine catheter caused bladder bleeding. When he is conscious his lucidity is in and out. It's very nerve wracking. And not easy to blog about, much less make funny. I’ve got a lot of funny stuff on here, check the archives or buy the book - LOL http://lulu.com/martilawrence

Anyway, I'm trying to catch up on a few friends today, and wanted to say hi to everyone.

Peace and joy to all of you!

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Friday, January 26, 2007


Marti as an m & m character

Purple, ‘cause that’s my favorite color
Blonde hair, ‘cause...like, duh - lol
Wearing eyeglasses, ‘cause I’m damn near blind without them
Sensible shoes for a woman with two metal ankles
Coffee cup, due to sleep deprivation

Make one of yourself for your blog!

I could say something incredibly crude like eat me, but that would be wrong. LOL

After the week I’ve had, I think it’d be more like “bite me” anyway.

Pacing the halls in a hospital is hideous. Zero on the fun scale. Father-in-law’s condition has swung wildly back and forth, blood pressure unstable, in and out of coma. Fortunately, his condition is starting to stabilize. Mine has deteriorated into blathering incoherence. So I needed a little something to make me smile, and when I saw Hillbilly Princess had this cute little m & m character (complete with crown and fishing pole - LOL) I decided to make one for myself.

Also, today is Amy’s birthday!

So jump over and wish her well! She designed this beautiful template, which I need to request an update for, since Christmas was a month ago - LOL!

I thank all of you who continue to stop by, since I haven’t had time to visit much.

Still waiting (tapping foot impatiently - lol) for more of you to weigh in on the Million Dollar Meme - what you would do (or not do) for a million dollars.

(I know I'm nagging, I'm stuck on these "m" things today - lol)

Someday when you come up blank on what to post, consider answering, ‘k?

I hope this finds all of you well, and that everyone has a fabulous weekend!

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Whatta Week

A little more than a week ago the ice storm started. What fun (if you’re a tow truck driver)! Went slip-slidin’ away back and forth on the insanity run.

The jackass brigade was out in full force...morons with bald tires, small brains and big egos. Ain’t no ice storm gonna slow them down! That telephone pole they wrapped themselves around does, though.

Monday was Martin Luther King Day, and the irony of ironies occurred. I actually saw a commercial for a MLK white sale. Seriously.

Tuesday everything went to hell. My father-in-law fell on the ice. Broke his hip. Laid on the ice for fifteen minutes before anyone found him. Once they got him to the hospital, they discovered a heart murmur that my mother-in-law explained to them he has had ALL HIS LIFE. He’s 89. Healthy as a horse (prior to the busted hip anyway - lol)

But they wouldn’t do anything for the hip until they could have a specialist look at the heart, because God fuggin forbid they run the liability risk of doing anything logical.

So he suffered for a full day (“No, I don’t like taking pills,” he grimaced at the offer of pain medication, unlike me, who, whenever I am broken, gladly accepts and pleads for more - LOL)

We got them to slip it into his IV. Me and mom-in-law are sneaky bitches - LOL

Got an offer to go eat at, “A great new Mexican place”.

Not. Not. Not.

Taco Bueno is awful. Beyond awful. I would have sooner eaten gauze bandages at the hospital. Used ones.

So now he’s recovering. Didn’t have to have total hip replacement, as once the doctors figured out their malpractice insurers would allow them to FIX him, they were able to put a pin in his leg to put the bone back together. Has a touch of pneumonia in one lung, but is improving.

Meanwhile, I am still gagging at the mere thought of the world’s worst enchilada.

S’posed to get six inches tonight. (Snow you gutter-minds - lol)

Hope this finds all of you well!

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

WW 17 Ice Storm


Ice Coated Pine Needles

The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll

You don’t need to be a participant to comment!
For information on joining the fun, and the getting the blogroll code, please go here.

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Should I be worried?

Like everyone who uses the Internets (snicker) I get a lot of spam. Spam e-mails, spam comments, spam blurbers at Squidoo.

But today, my spam e-mail was not for ways to enlarge my penis, have a Nigerian send me millions of dollars, or asking me to forward this to 20 people so my wish will come true.

Today I got power chair scooter store, and plan your funeral.

Is there something someone isn’t telling me? LOL!

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We are under a winter weather advisory - a bit of an oxymoron for the middle of the geographic US in the middle of January, but that’s why the meteorologists get the big bucks - LOL! We’ve got lots of ice. If only I had some vodka!

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Need a laugh? My sense of humor is frozen. Clearly, we need to legalize all drugs - LOL

Even without drugs, (but with her beloved unstirred coffee - lol) Amy has a hilarious piece about waxing her you-know-what (and I don’t mean her coffee table).

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Still waiting (tapping foot impatiently - lol) for more of you to weigh in on what you would do (or not do) for a million dollars. Someday when you come up blank on what to post, consider answering, ‘k?

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Acceptance Speech,

on the occasion of the award of the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, December 10, 1964

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.
This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.
I believe that even amid today's motor bursts and whining bullets, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow.

I believe that wounded justice, lying prostrate on the blood-flowing streets of our nations, can be lifted from this dust of shame to reign supreme among the children of men.
I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits.

I believe that what self-centered men have torn down men other-centered can build up.
I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed, and nonviolent redemptive good will proclaimed the rule of the land.

"And the lion and the lamb shall lie down together and every man shall sit under his own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid."
I still believe that We Shall overcome!

Complete text

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One year ago, my original blog, Digital Doorway, Enter the Laughter (all content has been transferred here) was named to the Blog Herald’s "100 Blogs in 100 Days" list! I am still extremely honored!

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I know this is an incredibly dull post. Sorry. We can’t seem to shake the flu, it is five degrees Fahrenheit outside and my brain is dull. We got three inches of sleet so I am just glad to still have electricity. Daughter was scheduled to have the day off, and husband dropped Son of at McDonald’s on his way in to work, so I was spared the slippery wetness, which is not anywhere near the fun of, “new guy wetness” that some friends who’ve recently begun dating again have been discussing. *snicker*

Sorry, I can’t discuss it any further, I am bound by the Covenant of Silence (cos) - LOL

I do hope that 2007 is treating all of you well! Smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another, right now.

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

New Holidays for a New Year

Mark your calendar with the multitude of new holidays to celebrate. Here’s just a few of to get you started…

The Day the Music Died Day: February 3
Write a sappy song about an important cultural tragedy that will annoy bar patrons for generations.

National Jingoism & Violence Day: February 4
Collect a group of two dozen or so well trained men assigned to represent your city or region. Face off against another such group of well-trained men. Beat the living sh*t out of each other. (aka Superbowl Sunday)

Bitterness Day: February 24
Ten days have passed since Valentine’s Day, so there is no chance the red-heart card was slow in arriving. No one loves you. Go get roaring drunk.

Reverse Cowgirl Day: March 3
Honoring a woman’s right to choose positions. (Formerly Women’s Suffrage Day)

Hale-Bopp Day: March 22
Remember 1997? Best year EVAR? Well, things won’t be that good until 4380, so your cult will have to wait for its next mass suicide.

International 420 Day: April 20

Mission Accomplished Day: May 1
Celebrate the United States'’ quick and clean victory in Iraq.

Jim Belushi Day: June 15
Hire your brother to do something he’s not qualified to do. (aka National Nepotism Day)

Mike Tyson Day: June 30
Threaten to eat someone’s children while feasting on delicious elephant ear pastries.

Los Alamos Day: July 16
Celebrate the first ever nuclear explosion near Alamogordo in 1945 by blowing some sh*t up. (aka Trinity Day, Oppenheimer Day, I Am Become Death Day)

Self-Love Day: July 26
Enjoy the company of the person you love best in the recesses of your favorite public place. May we suggest Barnes & Noble? (aka Paul Reubens Day, Pee Wee’s Play Day)

Adult Swim Day: September 2
Skip work, get high and watch Space Ghost until you pass out.

National Accessory Day: September 14
In appreciation of the belt, the hat, the handbag and, most importantly, the scarf. It was on this day in 1927 that famed modern dancer Isadora Duncan’s scarf sealed its importance in the annals of history by wrapping itself around the axel of a car and broke its owner’s neck.

Seat Belt Remembrance Day: September 30
What better way to celebrate the life (and, more specifically, death) of legendary actor and motor enthusiast James Dean, than with a holiday remembering seat belts?

Ted Haggard’s Gay Republican Day: November 1
Purchase recreational drugs from your favorite same-sex prostitute, but don’t pay for intercourse. That would be hypocritical.

Mutilated Nipple Day: November 4
Legend has it that this holiday originated way back in 2004 when actress Tara Reid bravely unleashed her mangled areola upon a pack of ravenous paparazzi and saved the world from something or other.

The Clinton/Lewinsky Blowjob Joke Appreciation Day: November 15
On this day, stand-up comedians and late-night talk show hosts around the nation celebrate the greatest gift that was ever given unto them.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation Day: November 22
Things to do today: fashion yourself a festive Asphyxophilia Noose, masturbate, and listen to Inx’s “Kick” twenty-two times on repeat. (aka Michael Hutchence Memorial Day)

Britney Beaver Day: November 27
Today, innocent girls all around the world flash their junk.

Entropy Day: December 30
Holy sh*t! Did another f**king year come and go already?

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Like a big pizza pie, that’s a new year.

I know this, because I’m in the center of a giant astrological compass, with the sky and starys spinning around me. No, I am not on drugs and singing, “Good morning, Starshine, the earth says hello”.

God don’t I wish - LOL

See, we are situated high on a hill. And this allows the seasonal north/south shift of the sun and the moon to be more noticeable.

In the summer the sun sets over the barn - in the winter, it sets over the south barbed wire fence. (Bet that hurts - lol)

And the first full moon of the new year smacks me right in the face, coming in through the bathroom window with its shiny, eye-piercing beam.

So y’all can have Dick Clark, or this totally insane Japanese New Year greeting, which simply has to be seen to be believed, courtesy of Miss Cellania. Guaranteed giggles (and nakedness! lol)

I know it’s the New Year when I get mooned. LOL

I missed Tuesday night chat at Successful Blog last night, but it was for a worthy cause. Well, maybe not “worthy” but entertaining - LOL

We rented, Snakes on a Plane on its first day of release. It didn’t quite live up to the hype of the young clerk at Blockbuster who claimed, “You have made the best decision of your life! This is the BEST MOVIE EVER MADE!”

I smiled what Husband calls my, ”You’re-a-moron” smile. He knows it well - LOL! Not from being the recipient (not too often, anyway - lol) but from having been with me when we found ourselves in the company of morons. I try so hard to be polite...I know many of them simply can’t help being morons.

The movie did provide us with considerable giggles, and an evening of shared family entertainment, which is priceless.

Speaking of what you can put a price on, (smooth segueway, eh? lol) I could sure use some help filling out a meme blog-link-list about what a person would be willing to do for a million dollars.

I won’t be cruel enough to “tag” anyone with the meme...it is strictly voluntary.

Amy, and Miss Britt have been kind enough to post their thoughts.

There are ten questions, and a few suggestions for things to consider when answering. You can write your own questions too, if you want. Answers get added to the list, which is getting a lot of attention, so I guarantee you’ll see some return traffic from adding your answer to one or all of the questions. It just looks kind of pathetic only having my answers on there, so please add some - LOL

Plus you can read my dirty-girl answers *giggle*

You can list you blog there yourself or let me know, and I’ll add your links.

I resolved to link to my friends more often - can you tell? LOL! I hope all of you are having a great 2007!

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