Wednesday, March 29, 2006

THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

My apologies for not posting much. Have been stricken by the triple threat: Teenager Angst, Taxes and Technology.

Am sworn to secrecy regarding Teenager Angst.

Taxes, well, everyone understands what a headache that is.

Technology, in that I know what I want, but do not comprehend how to get what I want done.


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I took solace from it all by reading a very funny book:
The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club by Laurie Notaro.




(Yes, I am an Amazon Associate and if you buy this book through this link I make two cents to apply towards my hideous debt to the IRS)


I visited the Idiot Girls Yahoo Group and picked up (*coughstolecough*) this joke.
Enjoy. I will be slaving away to slay the triple threat.

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Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Rush Limbaugh and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it.

A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual.
At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda".
I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared when these leaders reveal their plan...

THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA...
6:00 AM: Gym
8:00 AM: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)
9:00 AM: Hair appointment
10:00 AM: Shopping (preferably at Neiman's or Saks or Barneys)
12:00 PM: Brunch
2:00 PM: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of all of the internets and all mass media.
2:15 PM: Be fabulous
2:30 PM: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent
facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest
4:00 PM: Cocktails
6:00 PM: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)
8:00 PM: Theatre
10:30 PM: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"

10 Comments:

Blogger Miss Cellania said...

I LOVE this! I'm sending it out to everyone I know.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Very funny! And boy do I understand the teeanage angst crap. Too well, truth be told. Big hug to you for that alone!

9:17 AM  
Blogger debbiecakes said...

Hey Marti-

I think I saw your name out there in Idiot Girl Land last night, and then you appeared on my blog. How funny.
I gotta a kick outta of the "agenda", too. It's in my blood, being Jewish and knowing that we, too as a people are responsoble for everything else that went wrong with the world. It got to be too much, so we handed the rest of the work over the gays and lesbians. What a load off our backs, seriously.

Anyway, I'll be sure to stop back!

Deb -Idiot Girl

2:25 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

With the time left over from the 2 p.m. assignment, be even more fabulous.

5:59 PM  
Blogger ME Strauss said...

Sounds like you're having way more fun than I am. :)

1:28 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Seriously?... romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse! Do you really think anyone would buy into that!?

2:08 PM  
Blogger WAT said...

Now that's funny and more exciting than my agenda!

9:01 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

Love the agenda!

BTW, I have linked to your post on public bathrooms. It fit perfectly with a post I was doing on Ladies Room Blues.

11:09 PM  
Blogger BAC said...

This is great, and so different from the gay agenda of the radical religious right ... Yes, Miss Cellania, the radical religious right DOES have a "gay agenda"
.
.
.
.
.
.
demonizing for dollars!

11:37 PM  
Blogger Barnsley-Freeads said...

If you want a seriosly good laugh watch these hillariously funny videos
http://watchthisfunnyvideonow.com/taf/?x=23077XlRf extreme comedy

6:29 AM  

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