Friday, February 03, 2006

Win Free Candy! Valentine Joke Contest

Send in your best Valentine joke, and I will compile them into a post each Friday for a contest, and ask readers to vote for their favorite.

You can post your jokes in the comments section, or e-mail them to me here:

Valentine’s Day is Tuesday February 14, so I will announce the winner on Friday, February 17.
I will send the winner a free box of Russell Stover Chocolates!

Here’s one to get you started:

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.
After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Please send in your entries! Thanks!


Blogger Uisce said...

I like that one with the bar... oh wait, that was mine. Never mind! :)

9:27 AM  
Blogger Theresa said...

I am joke free, but those are good!

I told my hubs no candy for Valentines!! I am on the diamond diet! ;)

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awwww, Kel is blogless - that is sooo sad. lol


9:38 PM  
Blogger rebay said...

Hi Marti .. I like your sense of humour ...similar to mine ..I have a couple of refs to valentines day on both my blogs


8:19 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I always thought St. Patrick's Day was a joke. Does that count?

1:35 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

Valentines Day is not a joking matter! ::tongue planted firmly in cheek::

3:23 PM  
Blogger percys world said...

I still remeber my first valentine
that was here name.
i sent here a card with a poem.
roses are red violets are blue
im ready for sex what about

didnt go down well in our catholic school.
and being only 11 it was heartbreaking the way she said no.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Chas Ravndal said...

hehehehe. well I am not such a valentine fan since it brings back odd memories

6:29 PM  
Blogger mjarredshelton said...

Couples celebrates Valentine's day, what do single people celebrate?

Palm Sunday

1:23 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Sorry about the blog problems you've had. How frustrating!!
The jokes so far are funny.
I can't think of any Valentine's jokes right now, and I certainly don't need to eat any chocolate. I love chocolate, and I wish it was a health food. I've heard that one should eat some dark chocolate now and then.
I suppose that doesn't mean I should eat a one pound bar per day though.

12:44 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

OK, Marti, you asked for it:

A man asks his friend, "What did you get your wife for Valentine's Day?"

Friend: "A pair of slippers and a dildo?"

The Man: "Why the dildo?"

Friend: "So if she doesn't like the slippers she can go screw herself."

5:55 PM  
Blogger AL Bjørnstad said...

Saw your blog from Chas' blog ( blog!!!

1:22 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

I like the Palm Sunday one!

Hale's was good, too.

Has the mafia been represented yet?

Roses are red, violets are blue
Your husband sleeps with the fishes
Be my valentine

9:33 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie Davies said...

I have an entry!! But it falls in to the "risque" category probably...just not in a sexual way :D Anyhow, here's my favorite Valentine's Day joke, and my own entry:

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," David says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock.

"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride.

"David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him."

6:56 PM  

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