Thursday, February 09, 2006

A Cold Day in Cell Hell

Welcome to Hell. I’m your hostess, Marti. Would you like smoking or burning? LOL

Gawd almighty, give me strength to deal with kids and corporations.

Every month since we have had our cell phones, the bill has been wrong. EVERY month.

Granted, we’ve thrown them a few curves, changing plans, adding phones, and adding minutes. They are supposed to be equipped to handle this sort of thing.

I am not asking them to invent the five-cent matter transfer machine. LOL

Middle Son went out last evening. He was ill earlier in the week with a stomach virus, which he lovingly shared with everyone.

Daughter was home sick yesterday and we were both v-e-r-y glad this house has two bathrooms.

But the boy, he was all better. And ready to par-tay. So off he went, dancing into the night.

He returned while we were watching "Lost," which loyal viewers know is a program that requires a certain amount of attention to follow.

He looked sad. Sad and upset.

I said, "What’s wrong?"

He said, "Something bad happened."

I said, (with great trepidation) "What?"

He glances at TV, searching for an excuse to stall, and said, "I’ll tell you when your show is over."

So now I am thinking, "Oh God, what is so terrible that it is making him be considerate?" LOL

I say, "I can tape the show, (as I hit the record button) tell us what is going on."

His father says, "What’s going on?"

Son says, "Somebody stole my cell phone."

We say, "How did that happen?"

He says, "I went to play Dance, Dance Revolution and I left my phone in the car, ‘cause it bounces out of my pocket when I dance."

"Did you lock the car?"

"I thought I did." (That means "no" in Boy/Man Speak.)

He continues, saying that the security guard had seen a suspicious character in the parking lot, in the vicinity of my car, who ran away when he approached. Suspicious person was carrying something in each hand.

The plot thickens.

"So what else was stolen?"

"I dunno. The radio is still there, and my CD’s are still under the old paper, like you told me."

(Note...Son used to keep stack of CD’s in cubbyhole in console. I suggested he toss an old Thrifty Nickel newspaper over them so they were less obvious. Score one for Mom.)

Son claims he doesn’t know what the other stolen item was. We tell him to call cell phone company, report theft, and turn off service.

He does.

So this morning it is freezing. I’d become accustomed to our unseasonably warm weather, and going out when it is 14 degrees, and I'm coming down off of a Pepto-Bismol buzz, was miserable. LOL

The car was covered with thick frost. Then I found out what the second thing was.

The ice scraper.

A puny little 99-cent ice scraper.

Why would a (many foul and obscene words) thief steal it? I don’t know.

So I was reduced to scraping it off with my fingernails, as I could locate no suitable implement that wouldn’t scratch the glass, yet would remove the thick coating.

I’m still waiting for my hands to get warm, but hoping that since hell HAS frozen over...that when the boy gets his replacement phone in the mail, and we have to re-start his service, perhaps this glitch will somehow magically correct all of the billing errors the cell phone company makes, and all will be well with the world.

Hey, a girl can dream.

(I have to, it’s what keeps me out of the rubber room - LOL)


Blogger cube said...

Has your son called his number yet? Chances are the fool who stole it will answer.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Marti said...


Yes, I asked him if he did that last night, and he said he didn't think of it.

He called the phone company last night and had it turned off. We did try it this morning this morning, and now when the number is called, a message says the number is not available at this time.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Laina said...

Why would some little punk kid who probably doesn't even have a car steal your ice scraper? Some people are just theives for the hell of it, I think. Only you could make this into a funny story though, Marti!

1:29 PM  
Blogger Chas Ravndal said...

my phone was almost stolen before but luckily it was quite big for the thief to hide right away. I am just curious on what the thief will do about the ice scraper.

3:25 AM  
Blogger ozymandiaz said...

I heard a story once
Yet I do not believe
About a cell phone bill
That did not deceive
In actuality it was
So the story goes
Without any errors
But I don't suppose
Such a thing could be true
It doesn't make sense
Because you and I know
The curse of fine print
Those tiny little words
They don’t tell you about
All the hidden charges
So I highly doubt
Such a bill exists
It just can’t be true
I don’t believe it
How about you?

6:31 AM  
Anonymous susan said...

an icescraper? Good Lord! I bet this dumba** will call the cell phone company because the phone no longer works :-)

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

Hope the girl is feeling better. I visited you from someone else today, but I guess it was your old site or something --

And yes, high school it is!

3:17 PM  
Blogger IvoryValentine said...

Hi! Just checking things out and reading about the stolen phone. Too bad you had the service turned off. My hubby has one of those Treo phones that does everything but pick his nose and he constantly loses the thing...sometimes five states away. The police traced the signal, found it and he got it back. But the service has to be on I think. It was a pretty lucky thing. I have a theory about the ice scraper also. I bet the theif stole it to break glass. It's really to break glass with them. Did you make a police report? I;d suggest this just in case the thing is used to break glass like on cars or stores and the like. If the scraper turns up, all your prints might be on it. But that's probably just me overreacting maybe! Great post and a great site. I'll definitely check in from time to time.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Marti said...

Thank you all for the sympathy and support! It is wonderful to see new people visiting, I deeply appreciate your visit, and hope you will stop by again! Yes, son filed a police report. He is supposed to get his replacement phone Monday.
Laina - good to see you! Thank you!
Chas - thanks again for making me your spotlight blog!
Ozymandiaz - Welcome! Thanks for stopping by and for the great poem!
Susan - Welcome and thank you for visiting! That would be funny if the thief called the phone company!
Kristen - Yes, my old blog locked me out from posting, I don’t know why. I have been trying to direct people here, but since it won’t let me update, I can’t put any messages up there to send people here.
IvoryValentine - Welcome, and thanks for stopping by! I hadn’t thought about the ice scraper being used to break glass, but I bet you are right! Argh! One more thing to worry about - LOL

9:55 AM  
Blogger michaelm said...

"So I was reduced to scraping it off with my fingernails, as I could locate no suitable implement that wouldn’t scratch the glass, yet would remove the thick coating."
A credit card works wonders.
As far as the cell phone trauma goes, everyone on the face of the earth goes through the same crap. It's amazing, isn't it? What a racket.
Nice blog you have here Marti. I thank you for the link and will return the favor pronto.
Be well, and hang on to your cell phone...

~michaelm (Smoke and Mirrors)

7:09 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Holy crap. Marti, I am so sorry, somehow my link on my blogroll didn't update and I kept going back to the wrong page or I would have been commenting here a LONG time ago.


My teenager dropped his phone in the sink while doing dishes. After calling the cellphone company it turns out that MY phone is covered but his is not because it is an extra line (in a nutshell, of course, it's always more convoluted than that) it cost us almost $200 to replace his phone and his dad still does not know that, thankfully!


New phone has insurance.

1:57 PM  
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2:55 AM  

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