Enter the Laughter Redeux

Shhhhh........... I’ve got a secret....... The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll To leave a comment, please go here Thanks!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit! and the person who doesn't get it. 8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are runn...

This is Marti This is Marti on Glucosamine This is Miss Cellania’s computer This is Miss Cellania’s computer on explosives* I know just how it feels. I am recovering though. The computer, I fear, will not. *Some good ole boys in Kentucky celebrated Independence Day by launching computers with explosives and shooting them. She’s got video proof of what they did to her iMac. Go by and check it out ! It’s her first exclusive video! Best wishes to all for a Wonderful Wordless Wednesday! - - - The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll For information on joining the fun, and the getting the blogroll code, please go here . Wordless Wednesday Miss Cellania > Blow up computer To leave a comment, please go here Thanks!

I am proud to announce I am an S.O.B.! Liz Strauss of Successful Blog was kind enough to bestow the honor of being a Successful Outstanding Blogger upon me, and do an interview with me to help promote my new book . Stop over and pay her a visit! Be sure to take your coins for the bridge troll...LOL Thank you so much darlin'! I got REALLY sick last night, so I'm just getting up and about. It was the craziest thing... Since I’ve broken so many of my bones, it seemed like a good idea to be taking a supplement. When will I learn that “good ideas” are not for me? LOL I got a chewable version of Glucosamine Chondroitin and ate one. In less than an hour I started feeling sick. My throat felt tight and my right jaw started swelling up. By two hours later, the whole right side of my face was inflamed and throbbing. My right eye was watering like it was being given a private showing of Terms of Endearment. I took some aspirin - didn't help. I took some Aleve - didn't help. My r...

Pzzzew... What was that? Something just went whizzing by at just under the speed of light. Oh, that was Marti. School starts today. Just got the girl-child onto the bus. You know, the one the school newsletter said would leave the bus barn in ten minutes. C’mon, I didn’t get this old bein’ stoopid. LOL I’ve been puttin’ youngens on that bus for twenty years. ME: “Come on girl! We have to drive down to the end of the driveway.” GIRL: {{Still performing ablutions in the bathroom}} “It’s not time yet!” ME: “Yes it is! Look at the clock!” (Note: This is the clock I set ahead four minutes, in preparation for this moment *snicker*. Clock manipulation is one of the many artifices in the prepared mother’s bag of tricks.) GIRL: “Ack!” ME: {{must not chuckle must not chuckle}} GIRL: {{Dashing towards door}} “So let’s GO!” Go we did. Slowly at first, until we reach the crest where we can see the street. The street where a big yellow rooftop lurks. GIRL: “Ack! Go faster!” We are already going 25...

I’m proud to be a southpaw! Today, August 13 is National Left Handers Day ! ------- THIS JUST IN! (Fanning myself like Scarlet O'Hara all a-twitter here LOL) I submitted a guest article to Mommybloggers , and they just let me know they have used it today! There are wonderful stories there - you don't have to be a mom to enjoy a visit. As they state: ~The goal of our site, Mommybloggers, is to expose the diversity of the writers who commonly fall under the label "mommyblogger". This site is set up to be an inclusive experience for our readers, both for parents and non-parents alike. We will feature women who will share how their experiences in motherhood effect the many various aspects of her life in humorous, supportive and informative ways. Mommybloggers are making a real difference in this world. Mommybloggers.com wants to introduce you, our readers, to these amazing women.~ I am so grateful to them for using my article. Please stop by for a visit! Thanks! -------...

Have you seen these commercials for Rozerem, the new sleep aid pill? They feature an insomniac man who enters his kitchen to find a chess set on the table, Abraham Lincoln, a talking beaver and a strange figure that is either a deep sea diver or space alien with its back to us, over near the stove. There is talk about how insomnia plagues so many people and how the man isn’t dreaming, thus not visiting Abe and the beaver (who is eating from a plate using a fork). I’m assuming the beaver is a metaphor for sex, but maybe that’s just me. LOL But frankly, if you’re dreaming about Abraham Lincoln, talking mammals who use cutlery and unknown creatures cooking in your kitchen, all wanting to capture your queen, I think you’ve got bigger problems than a sleeping pill is gonna fix. Have a great weekend, y’all! To leave a comment, please go here Thanks!

Queen Klutz - The Misadventures of a Very Clumsy Woman Happy Wordless Wednesday from the book hooker - LOL The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll For information on joining the fun, and the getting the blogroll code, please go here .

Pimpin’ my goodies again. Sigh. It’s a dirty job but somebody has to do it (That would be me LOL) Found a fabulous bordello to hang my shingle at, where I can traffic all my wares. It’s called Squidoo. They say : A LITTLE ABOUT SQUIDOO: We have built a new online platform and community that makes it easy for anyone to build a single page--called a lens--on a topic, idea, product or cause he is passionate about. These lenses in turn help finders get unique, human perspectives instead of computer-selected and often irrelevant search results. Not only can Lensmasters spread their ideas, get recognized for their knowledge, and send more traffic to their Web sites and blogs—they could also earn royalties. Squidoo's goal as a platform is to bring the power of recommendation to search. Squidoo's goal as a co-op is to pay as much money as we can to our lensmasters and to charity. And Squidoo's goal as a community is to have fun along the way, and meet new ideas and the peopl...

Well, it’s almost that time again. Back to cruel...err, school. Do you look back fondly on high school? Any of you who do, please line up over here. Yes right there on that square. YOINK! {{ Followed by shocked look and hair flying over heads, as trapdoor flops open dropping them into pit below }} High school is a horrible but necessary training ground for the rest of life in this cruel, cruel world. I realize now, and have tried to instill in my children, the fact that every one of the greasy little pigs believes they are hideously ugly - more disgusting than a bowl full of intestines. Yes, even the cheerleaders feel this way. That is why they are especially cruel. It’s a defense mechanism. For most of us (peeks in on pit dwellers who are pacing and reciting their valedictorian speeches to calm themselves) high school was a nightmare. Now (oh joy) I get to relive the nightmare (for the third time) through dear Daughter. She will be a Junior this year. She feels stupid a...

(This Wednesday is not wordless, as tragedy has once again stuck Our Lady of Lucklessness) Drums keep poundin’ nails into my brain La de da de de, la de da de da. (Those unfamiliar with the old Sonny and Cher song I just parodied are scratching their nail-less heads) Yes friends, 1967 was the Summer of Love. 2006 has been the Summer of Shove. As in, shove a spike into my eye socket. It would be a relief. LOL Who knew that automotive epilepsy was hereditary? I have owned some of the all-time shakiest vehicles in car manufacturing history. This passage is from my soon-to-be-released book, “ Queen Klutz ”. I don’t just get flat tires; I have wheels fall off. Mufflers don’t just become noisy, they become disengaged. My children understand the geography of our area not by landmarks, but by towing incidents. “Oh, that’s where the transmission dropped out of the blue van.” “You know sis, over there where the bumper fell off.” She responds, “Which car?” So I suppose it should come as no surpri...