Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Dis and Dat

Being an equal opportunity offender of ethnic humor, I will tell two jokes - one poking a wee bit o’ fun at the Irish, a second showing their wisdom.

Enjoy.

***


An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"


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Radio Transmission - British Navy vs. Irish

Radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, Ireland

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER H.M.S. ILLUSTRIOUS!
THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET.
THREE DESTROYERS, A CRUISER AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS ACCOMPANY US. DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH.
I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

IRISH: We are a lighthouse.....................Your Call.

5 Comments:

Blogger Hale McKay said...

LOL - I love the Navy joke - being a former sailor myself. I used to tell my brother, "I've seen more lighthouses than you've seen flashlights."

9:02 PM  
Blogger cube said...

LOL! Heh heh. Loved the fly joke.

Here's one for you:

One night, a drunken Irishman comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $43.59 please." The drunken Irishman says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

The next night the same drunken Irishman comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

On the third night he comes in, the drunken Irishman orders drinks for all except the bartender.
"What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."

7:51 AM  
Blogger Laina said...

LOL at all of them, keep them coming!

11:43 AM  
Blogger michaelm said...

LMAO!

~m

6:03 AM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

That is an awesome lighthouse joke.

4:24 PM  

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