Enter the Laughter Redeux

OMG! Newscaster says on TV that pilots' names "Som Ting Wong" "Ho Lee Fuk" "We Tu Low"

We only get one every four years - hope you enjoy yours!

I should not read when I first wake up. Stuff just doesn’t make sense until I’ve had some coffee. Yet I started checking my e-mail early...pre-coffee. Big mistake. I get e-mail notifications from Freecycl e, a great organization that has local websites for most major cities in the United States. They allow people to post stuff they would like to give to someone (no sales) rather than throw it in a landfill. People can also ask for items they need, free of charge. Great idea, right? It is unless you misread the e-mail subject line. Bleary-eyed and caffeine-deficient I saw, “Wanted: Heavy Water”. My immediate thought was, “Oh my God – terrorists are asking for nuclear materials right here on Freecycle!” That was enough to drive me to the pot (coffee pot) . When I returned, all set to look up the number for Homeland Security, I realized that the poor soul I was ready to release the power of the armed forces onto was actually not a terrorist. The rest of the headline was actually...

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am so grateful for your friendship and for you stopping by my blog! Here's a little cartoon to give you a grin: *** Blind Turkey Farmer *** Please visit my main blog here Thanks!

Baby it's cold outside! It's been cold and miserable across the country for weeks now. Since before Christmas, the country has been plunged into the deep-freeze, with even the southern-most regions, like Florida, seeing snow and frigid temperatures. This brings into play previously undiscovered differences in people's relationships. There have always been "odd couple" pairings - a saver involved with a spender, a slob living with a neat-freak or a sauce versus a rub (oops, sorry - that's barbeque, watched " Pitmasters " last night) But the cold weather brings out another division in personalities - the rotisserie versus the snowballer. This is in reference to how people sleep….more specifically, how they roll over in bed. A rotisserie sleeper changes their position in bed by flicking the covers upward and executing a quick roll that involves raising up on heels and elbows to flip over wile remaining in virtually the same real estate. They shift...

Summer, that time of year when the bug population is trimmed back thanks to the personal bug catchers sported by a small segment of our community - the bug-splattered teeth of motorcycle riders. This reminds me of my own days as a Two Wheeled Terror when I spent time making my dentist rich by having him remove particularly hard bits of beetles from my incisors. Yes, back in my youth, I was a Motorcycle Not Yet Mama, as this was before I had children or any sense of my own mortality. I got a Zen feeling while riding and it wasn't from sucking fumes from a bus while waiting at a traffic light in the middle of the city. My Zen came from riding through the countryside and breathing the exhaust fumes of thousands of dairy cattle mere feet from the road. I tried to get others to ride with me, but they kept worrying about the guys from Deliverance stepping out from behind a tree to torment them with Dueling Banjos. I assured them that we would not meet any toothless, gun-toting sodomi...

First, let me say that on this Thanksgiving, I am SO grateful for all of my wonderful friends who stop by this blog. You have shared the joy and laughter in my life, and helped me through the dark times. Blessings to all of you! And now, a little humor: Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 8 - 15 lb. turkey 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.) 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's ...

I will no longer be repostng my entire message here. Please visit my main blog here Thanks!

I will no longer be repostng my entire message here. Please visit my main blog here Thanks!

I will no longer be repostng my entire message here. Please visit my main blog here Thanks!

I will no longer be repostng my entire message here. Please visit my main blog here Thanks!

I am no longer going to co-post my blogging. To read the latest post, please go here Thanks!

Can woodland creatures become terrorists? That is the only explanation I can come up with for what happened. (You know it’s gonna be bad, doncha?) I was attacked by a militant deer. I needed the car, so I did the insanity run, got up at 3 AM and rode out to Husband’s office in the next state. Followed the yellow brick road out of Kansas and back into Mazoorah. Almost made it safely home. Almost. Cruising down a rural road near a county lake, I passed the deer crossing sign. I’ve passed this sign hundreds of times, and always wondered, “How do the deer know where to cross?” Turns out they don’t. At least not the one who decided to wait until I was coming down the hill in the rain. This animal HAD to be lying in wait for me, I’m sure of it. Hiding over there in the brush, plotting its jihad. This deer must have been brainwashed by an extremist forest fatah. Maybe it’s all the subdivisions cropping up. Maybe the cell phone tower signals affected its mind. All I know is Bambi had...

For most of you, yesterday was Sunday. Here it was Stunday, as in a day of stunning events. First, I was stunned (in a good way) to see a spike in book sales following mention by Chris Brogan , praising Queen Klutz . I’ve been pimping ...errr...promoting the book for months and haven’t seen this kind of sales. Maybe it was his honesty. Not many men would admit that their wife laughs in bed, but this brave soul left this twitter post: God love ya, Chris! I saw a similar spike following my interview with Liz Strauss . I thank them both! Isn’t it great when the blogosphere smiles on you? Then I was stunned (in a strange way) when Husband got gasoline. No, the act of gassing up the car isn’t stunning (expensive, but not stunning) . He dropped Daughter and I off at the grocery store (scene of the non-juggling hair-hanger routine) and took off for the service station on the corner. Daughter and I finished shopping and waited outside the store. We could see the station but didn’t...

I went to the grocery store last night, after a frustrating day of trying to get my mother-in-law’s computer to recognize the AT&T/DSL Internet connection we had made for her. We might as well have been trying to talk to the Mars rover. More on that in a moment. It was hot - really hot, but not in a fun, Paris Hilton kind of way. We’re talking temperature and humidity in the 90’s. I parked the car, went in for supplies, returned and unlocked the door. I was tired and frustrated. I flung the door open, tossed the sack onto the passenger seat, and dropped towards the driver’s seat as I pulled the door shut behind me. The key word in this sentence is “towards”. I did not make it fully TO the seat, as an updraft from the heated interior of the car caught my ponytail (I can’t stand this mat of heavy hair on the back of my neck when it’s 95 outside) . Just as the door slammed fully shut, the ponytail was lodged between the door and the roof of the car, suspending me, much like this...

Middle Son remains at home, as the person he is replacing in the shared household he and his lady-love will be joining, has yet to depart. The kid who was supposed to move out must have taken my death threats seriously....... :) Although he still lives here, he is no longer a McPloyee. He and lady-love both bid adieu to the golden arches for greener pastures. Then they went under them. They are both now working in a cave. Honest. Subtropolis . It sounds like somewhere a superhero arch-enemy would hang out, doesn’t it? LOL But it is a real place, the world's largest underground business complex, a subterranean industrial park with nearly five million square feet of leasable space. Speaking of bidding adieu, I am in the process of getting rid of many of my Squidoo lenses. It’s nothing personal (despite my rant at Calacanis ) I just don’t have the time, or sufficient drug supplies (to DEA computer scanner - just kidding) to keep them up. So I’ve let others adopt them. Summer...

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and ...

The Good The bad and the Adly Today is supposed to be a lucky day - 07/07/07. I hope it’s lucky for you! Any special plans for today? Does July have any special significance for you...a birthday, anniversary, special memory? I have a few thoughts (often very few LOL ) THE GOOD I got a very nice book review for my book of humor essays (some taken from this very blog - LOL) I didn’t die in a horrible flaming car crash when the wheel fell off the car My birthday is on the 29th. THE BAD Middle Son has informed me that he and his lady-love are going to move in together, which means he is moving out of our home. I will miss him and all of the topics he gave me to blog about - LOL Eldest Son moved out ten years ago, when I was just getting started on the Internet. Daughter is 18 and going into her senior year of high school, so she’ll be gone before I know it. The cats better start doing some pretty funny stuff - LOL THE ADLY I love advertising. I know most people are annoyed by it, ...

I have had one hell of a week and it’s only Tuesday. The “week” I am referencing goes back to last Friday though. Although the rains have finally stopped here, it was pouring on that day. It was starting to look Biblical. Then the plague of frogs struck. I had gone to the roadside vegetable stand and picked up some fresh garden goodies for a dinner salad. When I got home and came up the driveway, it was considerably softer than usual. Then I realized I was running over thousands of frogs. They were everywhere. I stepped gingerly out of the car, and tried to avoid stepping on one as I made my way to the door. Then one of the little boogers jumped on top of my shoe. I was balancing bags of produce, and trying to maintain my balance, so I slowly lifted my foot and tried to fling it across the yard. Instead, the frog (or toad - I never remember how you tell the difference and at this point didn’t care) leapt...not away, but up. Up my pants leg. I dropped the bags and hopped around i...

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