Thursday, November 30, 2006

Ice Syn and Quer

Ice Ice Baby
We in the Kansas City metro area are in the throes of an ice and snow storm. Roadways are skating rinks, I ain't goin' out there.

Here's what our last big ice storm looked like. This is our driveway, the trees are bent over under the weight of a solid one inch coating of ice.

My debut novel, River of Possibilities is now for sale.

Because I am a kind and generous soul, (and so modest - lol) and I believe that giving leads to receiving, you can read the COMPLETE novel online.

I loved researching all of the paranormal stuff that is in the book, and I loved writing it, but my synopsis sucks - LOL!

So I'm having a contest.

Help Me Syn
I am not happy with the synopsis for the novel. (And you thought I just couldn't spell "sin" Trust me, I'm an expert on sin *snicker*)

So for two weeks, there is a contest. Write the best synopsis. Or the worst. Any synopsis. The whole book is free online.

Winner gets a free print copy of the book. I'll post all entries, y'all vote. A free print copy goes to the winner. I'll be turning to friends to spread the word, and would appreciate links.

I'd also like some samples of great query letters. I've read lots of examples of great queries, but I get real stoopid when I try to write my own.


Let's Try Quer
A SECOND contest (with free print copy as prize - like duh, I'm trying to promote this book - lol) which will also be judged by readers.

Both contests end December 7, at 11:59 PM

Thanks! Can't wait to see what you come up with!

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving A Freebie

I love all of my Internet friends.

It still amazes me that this technology allows me to meet such wonderful people from all over the world! As a a way of expressing my deep appreciation of the friendships I have made, I am offering my new novel to everyone FOR FREE!

If you visit this blog, you can read the entire book online. I started this project on the first of the year, and I posted a single page every day.

I thank all of you for reading my mental meanderings. I hope that each of you will take time today to count your blessings, even the little ones we often take for granted...a home, our families, our health.

I wish you all peace and love (‘cause I’m an old hippie and that’s what we do - LOL)

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Friday, November 17, 2006

The Talking Pocket

Howdy, all. I’m still as beat as a slow mule, but had a little funny this mornin’ that I thought I’d share.

This gettin’ up at 3 AM crap makes everything seem funny to me though, so maybe it really ain’t. Let me know. Or not. Hell, I don’t know when I’ll ever get back here LOL

I’m powerful sorry for not visiting anyone lately.

First off, yes, both my car and son’s car are still dead. I still drive 8 million miles a day to get hubs to work, come back, get daughter to school, come back, get the boy to McDonald’s, come back, run errands, come back, go get hubs, come back, go get the boy, come back...then die. LOL

I fall asleep around 6 PM these days.

But this morning, as I was driving husband’s car (that I am still not familiar with) I started hearing a strange little beeping noise. “For the love of gawd, WTF is that?” I wondered. I didn’t really care to investigate. The car was still travelling down the road in a reasonably straight line...that was good enough. But when I dragged the lad from slumber and he was getting read to leave with me, he said, “What’s that noise?”

I gave him the blank zombie mombie look that is pretty much permanent now. He gently lifted my purse off my shoulder and investigated.

I had hit some damn button on my cell phone when I jammed it into my purse, and its little camera was trying to capture an image of the linty interior.

He chuckled and said, “Something like this happened to me the other day. I accidentally hit this button (pointing to button so zombie mom would comprehend) and it somehow redialed the last number I had called. My girlfriend picked up and started saying, ‘Hello? HELLO? HEY!!’ I was at work, and all of a sudden there is a voice calling out from my pants pocket. That gave everyone a good laugh.”

For some reason (probably sleep deprivation) I found the Talking Pocket quite hilarious. Somebody slap me.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Cat Turkey Smackdown

click to enlarge

I was looking for funny cat pictures this morning, and I found this. It came from a website that is in a foreign language, so I have no idea what they’re saying about it, but it made me laugh. LOL

Sorry for not being around, real life has been a bitch lately.

I hope all of you have a lovely week!

Next Wednesday I have a big Thanksgiving surprise for you!

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Digg 50000


Squidoo just hit 50,000 lenses!

To celebrate, here's a challenge from us to you. If every Squidoo member built just one new lens, we could help Room to Read build a new school in Vietnam or Nepal. And then another. And another. And another. Because your lens could just keep earning royalties, for free, forever.

I’ve got two lenses in the program:

12 Days of Gift-mas

Favorite Hitchcock Films

So please digg the story and visit. Consider building a lens of your’s free, easy and if you don’t, an angel loses its wings - LOL

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
I've got a wonderful feeling,
Everything's going my way.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! What a beuatiful day! S’posed to be mild and sunny here, hooray!

In other news, the American people have spoken. Woot! I believe in democracy. I believe we have the right to vote and should exercise it. If you didn’t vote, you don’t get to bitch - LOL!

And K-Fed goes in the same, “Trivial Pursuit - 2010 Edition” answer box as Star Jones - LOL!

I get a couple of days off from the insanity run! Double woot! LOL

Husband has taken a mini-vacation, so for a few days, I am spared from breaking the laws of Mazoorah, Kansas and physics, by trying to survive on three hours of sleep and travel 250 miles a day without incident (cars hate me).

I got to make a “Personal Wishlist” Squidoo lens, which was a blast! Stop by and make one for yourself - it is so much fun! I’ll be happy to lend you a hand!

Girls will be boys,

girl dressed up as boy

and boys will be girls.

boy dressed up as girl

It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world...(Oh dear, now I’ve got The Kinks stuck in my head. Not that unusual for my brain to have a few kinks though - LOL)

May you all have a fabulous Wednesday!

give peace a chance

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006


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Friday, November 03, 2006

Grey’s Vibrator

I am tarred. That’s hillbilly-speak for exhausted.

Been gettin’ up at 3 AM to do the insanity run. That means I usually fall asleep about 7 PM - LOL

But I stayed up last night to watch Grey’s Anatomy, because I love that show. ‘Cause it’s all true.

I reckon most folks that watch it think, “Heh...funny, but that could never happen in real life.”

Trust me, real life is crazier.

I used to be an x-ray tech. The parade of human stupidity that you see when you work in a hospital is beyond anything a fiction writer could come up with.

We’d often get called to the emergency room to do portable x-rays. You never knew what to expect. It might be some fool who accidentally shot himself with a nail gun. Or a kid that swallowed something or stuffed something up their nose.

But the strangest case I ever saw (and let me tell you, I saw some damn strange stuff) was the vibrator case.

Got the call to do an ER portable. On the table was a young man in his 20’s sweating and groaning, and holding his abdomen. I glanced at the doctor. He looked at me and raised one eyebrow. The secret signal that this was gonna be odd.

He requested an abdominal x-ray. It is necessary to feel for the patient’s illiac bone to be able to position properly.

So I placed my hand on the man’s abdomen, and it was quivering.

I looked at the doctor again, who could not look directly at me as he was attempting not to laugh. (Anti-laughter is one of the classes they make you take in medical school.)

I excused myself and stepped into the hallway, motioning with my eyes for the doctor to follow.

“So, what’s up with this guy?”

Doctor stifled laughter.

“Up...uh, yeah. Up his anus. Up into the colon. "

"His friend,” he said, pointing to a man pacing in the waiting room, "His friend says they were ‘playing’ with a vibrator, and it, uh, ‘got away’ from him.”

The vibrator had taken off like the bell at the Kentucky Derby had rung, and it was now attempting to round turn one.

It got stuck there.

It was still running.

I took my x-ray, then they took the guy into surgery.

I was called on to take portable films in there, (like I'd have missed this for the world - LOL) as it kept shifting positions.

Once they sliced him open, and removed it, the doctor laid it on one of those silver medical trays.

It was still running.

It danced quite a jig on that metal tray, and the surgeon grabbed it and fiddled with it a bit, then yelled, “How do you turn this damn thing off?”

"Don’t say anything, Marti," said the wise little voice in my head.

One of the nurses piped up, “The bottom of it should twist counterclockwise to turn it off.”

She never lived down having the answer, or her new nickname, “Buzzy”.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Isn’t it grand that the gods decided Marti didn’t have quite enough crap in her life, and delivered a special truckload of manure for Halloween? LOL

My blog vanished. Poof! Happy Halloween - it’s gone!

I don’t know why. I do not understand WordPress-speak. It was still here if you added “blog” to the end of the URL. Tricky bastard. I wrote to WordPress forum. I got an answer that was similar to the instructions for constructing a matter transport machine. If they were written in Chinese. By an Ethiopian.

But God bless her beautiful soul, Amy rode to my rescue. I wrote her an enormous rant, and she is to be congratulated first for not changing her e-mail address and not telling me - LOL

I bitched about not having a car, having to drive so far every day, the cold weather, the blog disappearing, and the general crappiness of life.

Her kind soul, warm sense of humor and genius mind saved me! She boosted my spirits and fixed my blog! What a woman!

So the blog is back! Thank you, Amy, you earned mucho karma points for putting up with me! Stop by and tell her her how swell she is! She’s got a beautiful new template too!

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